It’s hard not to notice how each year our life accelerates and everything around us changes. Increasingly, people are feeling that their familiar order is beginning to collapse. Personal and economic crises, changes in personal life, health issues — all this can cause a sensation as if the ground is slipping from under your feet. In such moments, familiar landmarks disappear, feelings of anxiety, loss, and confusion emerge. And it is precisely in these moments that it becomes crucial to learn how to be there for yourself.
Why is uncertainty so difficult to endure?
The human brain is designed in such a way that it needs to understand what to expect because predictability provides a sense of security. We need to know what comes next, even if it’s not the most pleasant outcome. Any form of uncertainty can disrupt the feeling of control and trigger the body’s stress response, characterized by increased heart rate, confusion in thoughts, and difficulty making decisions.
This is related to how our brain works and the hormones that regulate stress and motivation. For example, when facing uncertainty, cortisol (stress hormone) levels rise. At the same time, the production of dopamine, a hormone associated with motivation and pleasure, may decrease, and this connection is described in detail in the article about dopamine and anxiety. This is precisely why anxiety can increase even without objective threats.
What helps to cope with uncertainty
Acknowledging that we are vulnerable when facing uncertainty is already a good start. But what’s next? We’ve gathered the main steps that can help restore a sense of ground when everything around becomes unstable.
Step 1. Slow down and acknowledge what’s happening
The first thing to do is to stop and try to breathe deeply. Usually, the first thing we do in stressful situations is rush into action to regain a sense of control somehow. But in reality, the only way to deal with chaos is to allow yourself to acknowledge it.
- Accept your feelings. It’s normal to experience fear, and it’s understandable to worry about not knowing what comes next. These are natural brain reactions when the sense of control is lost.
- Name your emotions. Sometimes it can be difficult to accurately identify your feelings or find the right words — mood trackers or simply an honest inner monologue can help with this.
- Allow yourself to experience and feel all these emotions without judgment. Remember that emotions are not a sign of weakness, but rather your psyche’s way of adapting to changes.
Slowing down cannot change external circumstances, but it will help you feel connected to yourself and remind you that there is still a place inside where it’s always calm and safe.
Step 2. Calm your body to calm your mind
Our body and psyche always function as a single whole. And how we feel physically directly affects our emotional state. And if we help the body relax, for example, reduce muscle tension, breathe deeper, give ourselves movement, then we can automatically reduce the level of anxiety. Thanks to this, it becomes easier for us to cope with worries and anxiety.
Several techniques can help:
- Breathing. This is a fairly simple but effective exercise, “4-4-4”. Slow inhale for 4 counts, then hold your breath for 4, and slow exhale for 4. Even a few cycles of such breathing will help reduce anxiety and regain a sense of control over your body and emotions.
- Movement. A short walk, stretching, or dancing to your favorite music will help the body relieve tension and even increase dopamine levels. The only rule is to do this mindfully and try to relax as much as possible to feel how the whole body becomes engaged.
- Sensory practices. A warm shower, a favorite scent, a soft blanket, or a cup of your favorite hot drink can ground you in the present moment. These simple pleasures provide stability and support through tactile sensations and by engaging your visual and olfactory senses.
Step 3. Establish small anchors
When it seems that everything around is losing stability, it’s very important to find anchor points. Even if it’s something very simple and seemingly insignificant.
- Familiar routines. For example, breakfast at the same time, an evening walk, keeping a journal, or any small ritual that gives a sense of stability. Even a seemingly ordinary but regular morning cup of coffee can become such an anchor.
- Contact with loved ones. A short message to a friend, a smile from someone close, or the voice of a family member will help restore a sense of connection and remind you that you are not alone.
- Mini-goals. Even actions like checking off an item on your to-do list, making yourself a cup of tea, or making your bed. Such actions give a sense of completion and remind you that you can handle any task; the main thing is to act without pressure and step by step.
This is not about controlling your entire life, but about creating structure within chaos.
Step 4. Speak to yourself gently
In moments when external uncertainty becomes stronger, most people’s inner critic awakens. And with each day, it can become louder. And in moments of stress, it constantly undermines: “You can’t handle this”, “You’re not good enough”, “You don’t deserve peace”. But in such moments, it’s important to understand that these are just thoughts, not facts.
In such moments, you can support yourself with these techniques:
- Write down what you tell yourself and notice repetitions. This will help identify which thoughts most often hurt and trigger anxiety.
- Imagine that these words are spoken not by you, but by someone close to you. Try to respond with care, as you would respond to a friend. And afterward, think about why we are often stricter with ourselves than with others?
- Look for alternatives: instead of “I don’t know what to do” – “I’m doing everything I can with what I have”. Such a shift in internal dialogue will help reduce anxiety by turning the thought process from helplessness to optimistic and realistic thinking.
These techniques don’t deny the existence of a difficult situation, but they help restore confidence in yourself and your abilities. It’s important to notice your thoughts and feelings, but not to completely merge with them.
Conclusion: Being there for yourself is already support
The fact is that uncertainty is frightening. This is normal. But how we meet it – with panic or with care – determines our further actions. Being able to support yourself during such periods means:
- Acknowledging your feelings;
- Calming your body and mind;
- Creating anchor points;
- Rethinking your inner dialogue.
And remember, you don’t have to feel confident right away. But every step, even the smallest one, is already a contribution to your resilience and peace of mind.
